Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
