I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
