need another drink. this is the easiest way
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
