I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Four minutes until I can fart!
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
