I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
