winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
