My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
