ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
