but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
