I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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