i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
