I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize
