East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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