I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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