Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Randomize