That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
