as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
