brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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