Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize