But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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