i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
