You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
