Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
