Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
