I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Your dad touched me again.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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