Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Randomize
