Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
