Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
This toilet bowl is my home.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
