Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
