some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
