That's intense
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
