i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
