Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
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