actually, I'm a sock model
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
