so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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