Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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