So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
