Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
