I wanna bring you to show and tell
Having a random hookup so left but love u
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
