I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
