Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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