I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
