so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
