The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
