I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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