BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
