now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
