I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
