The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
