just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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