I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
