she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
