no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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