Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
