Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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