Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I don't want my vagina anymore.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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