It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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