we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
