I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
