Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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