so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
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Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
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I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize