Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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