just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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