I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
no you cant smoke seaweed
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
