theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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