how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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