I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
