Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
